Sasha's Dilemma (The Dilemma Series) Read online

  Sasha's Dilemma

  (The Dilemma Series #1)

  BY

  T. L. Smith

  Copyright 2014 T.L Smith

  Editor: Hot Tree Editing (http://www.hottreeedits.com‎)

  Cover Design: Kari (http://www.covertocoverdesigns.com‎)

  Formatting: Dead River Books http://www.deadriverbooks.com

  Cover Photographer: Laura Jane

  (https://www.facebook.com/laurajaynephotography.info?hc_location)

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the above author of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  To my mother, who has been my biggest cheerleader through life, and is always there for me no matter what. You have been both a mother and father, and for that, I thank you.

  Synopsis

  This is not a HEA

  LOVE— it’s a common word that people take for granted. As for me, Sasha Adams, I have seen that love isn’t everything, though sometimes it’s meant to be. But to be honest, I never wanted it. That has been my plan for as long as I can remember. The only person I ever wanted to love is my sister Lola. But then I met not one no, not even two— but three beautiful men.

  Dylan, the doctor, had his head screwed on tight. Josh, well, he was a tattooed sex machine playboy. Then there was Brax, the rock star. It was clear they all wanted my heart, but I wouldn’t give it to any of them willingly.

  Unwillingly, I fell hard, but there was a part of me that knew he could destroy me. So I refused to give him all of me, and now he’s returned and determined to win me back. But it’s too late, isn’t it?

  Prologue

  I never understood why Mumma always cried when one of the guys she was seeing left her. She would sit in the same spot for a week and not move, just cry and cry. But then, she met a businessman and announced her plan to marry. My sister and I were so happy for her. We didn’t like to see her crying all the time, and now Mumma was always smiling.

  When we were thirteen, we came home from school one day and found her throwing away and destroying everything in the house. When she spotted us, she turned around and pointed, “If I didn’t have you two, we would be married now! But no, he couldn’t take on two kids. He wanted someone with no commitments. So thanks, girls, you just made the man I love leave me.”

  She left us that night and for two weeks, we had to look after ourselves. During the second week, I saw Lola going through the cupboards for something to eat, but came out empty handed. She turned around and tried to give me her best smile, but didn’t quite succeed. She walked over and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze.

  “Lola, when do you think Mumma is coming home? I’m getting hungry.”

  “I don’t know, Sash, hopefully soon.”

  We went to bed starving; we hadn’t had a proper meal in over a week. Later that night, I heard arguing and tried to be as quiet as possible when I opened my door to see where it was coming from. I looked up and saw Lola standing there looking out her door, too. We heard our mother’s voice and raced downstairs. She was on her hands and knees begging the businessman not to leave her. We stood there watching, until the man saw us and shook her off. He turned and walked out the door, slamming it in the process.

  I walked over and placed my hand on Mum’s shoulder. “Mumma, did you bring food?”

  She turned around and gave us the most hateful look I’d ever seen.

  “No, I didn’t. Girls, get back to bed.”

  Lola pulled on my arm, took me back to her room with her and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. I woke with a start when I heard people rushing around in our house. Frightened, I ran out of the room to find out what was happening. Men in uniform were everywhere, and then I saw Mum on a table being carried out by the paramedics. I looked at Mum; blood covered her wrists. I tried to run to her, but Lola wrapped her arms around me.

  “Come on, Sash, let’s get ready for school.”

  “What happened?”

  “Mum was very upset about that man not loving her.”

  “I never want a man to love me, Lola.” I decided right then.

  And that has been my goal for as long as I can remember. I never want what my mother went through, so I AM NEVER FALLING IN LOVE.

  Chapter 1

  What am I going to do with her?

  That was my first thought as I walked into our apartment. The bitch has left condom wrappers and clothes everywhere. Arghhh! I could kill her. Who does she think she is? Oh, that’s right, my pain in the ass, bloody sister. Stuff this shit! She is getting up, and I’m kicking out whoever she has in our bloody room. I am not sleeping in there with her drunk off her ass and playing hanky-panky with some dude I’ve probably never met (oh, and she probably hasn’t either). She’s getting the fuck up! I ain’t covering for her ass again! “LOLA! LOLA, GET UP!” I scream at her.

  Her new friend rolls over onto his stomach, oblivious to my presence. Throwing a pillow over his head, he manages to de-sheet himself in the process. Damn, that backside isn’t bad looking. She always gets the hotties. I’m not complaining, it’s nice to look at, but I need to study and she needs to get her ass up and go to college for her first class.

  Lola is studying to be a teacher. She is bloody smart as shit, that’s what pisses me off about her. I have to study my ass off, and she just breezes through like it’s nothing. For example, she was out all night getting smashed and picks up some good looking random, whilst I got to spend my Monday night reading textbooks until I had to practically tape my eyes open. She says it’s to help her relax, but I just call her bullshit.

  We are in our third year of college, and she needs to get her act together. There isn’t much of an age difference between the two of us. She is twenty-two and I’m twenty-one. We are exactly eleven months apart. Some probably think our mum was a busy girl; well, indeed she was. I don’t have a close relationship with our mother. She is always in and out of relationships, and I’ve never seen her in a steady one in all my life. Every time she had a man, we were always neglected. When they left her, which they always did, we were to blame for it. It always became our fault that her relationships never worked. She has tried to commit suicide several times because some bastard broke her heart. Lola and I are always left to pick up the pieces until the next poor asshole comes along, which they always do. My sister and I have been accustomed ever since I can remember to this cycle. I don’t know why we bother anymore. She doesn’t care or takes notice of anything we do. Some mother we have, if you could call her that.

  I never want to fall in love, and I will never allow myself to get as low as she has. Lola and I don’t have the same father, and we look nothing alike. I’m sandy-blonde, five-feet-five, blue eyes, not chubby, but also not a rake. I have a booty and my mother’s DD cups. Lola is my opposite at five-feet-nine; raven black hair, beautiful, white creamy skin, and a perfect figure to match. It’s Lola’s eyes that draw people in. They completely stand out against her black hair. She has our mother’s eyes. They are a see-through, light green, and in one word … enchanting. I’m pretty sure she captures men with
her eyes and doesn’t let them go until she blinks.

  Lola looks up at me and tries to give a ’fuck off’ stare. I just roll my eyes at her.

  "Lola, you need to get up."

  "No, I don’t. Fuck off, Sasha!"

  "Yes, you do. Now get your ass off that fucking bed and get up and get dressed. You’re gonna be late again!"

  The guy lying next to her stirs, looks up at me, and says, "Who the hell are you?"

  "Sister, idiot. Now get out of our apartment so she can get to class!"

  I throw his clothes at him. He is still looking back and forth, dumbfounded, like he can’t believe what I just said.

  He finally gets his tall, sexy, naked ass out of bed. Instead of covering up, he stands tall, morning wood for all to see, and throws his muscular legs into his faded jeans. He pulls up the zipper, leaving the top button undone, before openly saying, "Hey, babe, next time invite your sister for some fun, too. I love me some threesomes."

  God, the nerve of this guy. I’m standing here staring at this idiot, gorgeous idiot, but still an idiot. Honestly, some of the people she brings home amaze me.

  "You bloody idiot, get your shit and get out,” I yell at him.

  Lola rolls over and tells her hook-up, “Thanks for last night, hotness." Lola adds with a wink. I don’t know how she does it. I roll my eyes and slam the door shut behind me. Not my idea of a great start to the morning. I swear, I feel like I’m babysitting her half the time.

  *****

  When we finally get home from a gruelling day of lectures and classes, I flop on the couch and Lola grabs a beer out of the fridge and sits at the bar. “So what’s your plans for tonight?" Lola asks.

  "Working at the bar, and then coming back to, hopefully, a quiet apartment to get some sleep."

  Lola smirks at me. "I can be quiet, but I prefer not to be." God, she does my head in. Arghh! I swear she thinks we run a brothel.

  "Well, you should come out after with us. Britney and I are gonna stop by Chica's while you’re working and, hopefully, go into the city after. What ya say? I’ll wait for ya shift to finish."

  "I don’t know. I don’t really want to go out tonight, especially in my work uniform."

  "Why not? You can’t even tell it’s a uniform, and you haven’t been out for weeks. Please, please, pretty please… You know it won’t be the same without you."

  She does this to me all the time, giving me her best sad eyes and fluttering her long black lashes. It drives me up the wall. I’m not like her. I don’t like to go out and get drunk and high every weekend. Some weekends I prefer to sit on my comfy ass couch and just read. Don’t get me wrong, I love to go out, just not every night (like some).

  "Okay, but you have to wait for my shift to finish."

  "Sure, no problem. I’ll have some drinks with Brit while we’re waiting."

  Well, Lola strikes again. Once again, she bats her lashes and she gets her way. She knew I wouldn’t say no to her, bitch!

  The bar is so busy tonight, and I’m not sure if I’m gonna get out on time. Hopefully, we die down in an hour or so. Joe and Becca can close tonight. This is my part-time job to help cover for my college fees and everything that goes with my degree. I love working here. It’s an awesome job, and the staff are friendly and a good bunch of people to work with.

  "Any plans for tonight?" Joe asks while I am making some shots for a rowdy bachelor party.

  "Yeah, Lola, Brit, and I are hitting the city when I finish."

  "Sounds like fun," he says with an eye roll.

  "Yeah, you know how she is, party, party, party."

  Joe looks at me for a while before he says anything. I look him over. He isn’t a bad looking guy. He’s tall with blond hair that looks like he just got out the shower and ran his hands through it. Muscle, but not too much, more like lean surfer muscles and hazel eyes make him good to look at. He’s asked me out before, but I’ve never gone there because we work together. If things didn’t work out, it could get very complicated. Plus, he is a ladies’ man. I don’t want to get messed up in all that.

  "Well, have a good night and don’t drink too much," he tells me with his best stern voice.

  "Yes, Father,” I say with sarcasm.

  He just flashes me his brilliant smile and walks away to let me finish making these shots. I hand the shots to the men at the bar and they start their advances towards me. "Hey, honey, how about a lap dance? I’ll pay ya!"

  "Sorry, guys, wrong bar for that service. Maybe you should go to the strip joint down the road." I nod towards the door, trying not to lose my temper at these losers.

  "Awww, come on, sweetheart, just one please?” they all say in unison.

  "Sorry, guys, I don’t want any lawsuits because somebody slips over in your drool."

  I give them a smile and walk away. I’m walking up to the bar, and in walks beauty herself.

  "Hey, sis."

  "Hey, Lola. Hey, Brit. You girls are looking mighty fine tonight."

  Brit walks over and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She is very gorgeous with fiery red hair, green eyes, long runner legs, and a killer smile.

  They’re both in short dresses with heels to match. Lola is wearing a blue dress that, I swear, if she bends over, you could see what she had for breakfast. But, of course, she pulls it off. Brit, as always, is in a scarlet red dress to match her hair, and she looks stunning in it.

  Me, well, I’m in my work uniform. As usual, I probably look like a bum next to these two. My uniform is denim shorts (close to being daisy dukes) with a short midriff jersey that says “Chica's” on the front, and a pair of black, knee high boots with a cute heel.

  "What do you tarts want to drink? Once I make them, we are out of here."

  "Two vodka and Red Bulls. Thanks, honey."

  I make the girls their drinks and tell Joe I’m off for the night. “I’ll see you next week.”

  "All right, catch ya then," he says casually.

  I give Joe a kiss on the cheek and take the girls their drinks before I go and clock off to join them.

  Chapter 2

  We’re at Indigo and it’s pumping. The music is awesome. I love RnB. I love watching people dance with all these different dance moves. I think that’s the main reason I go out with Lola all the time. Apart from reading, dancing is my all-time favourite thing to do, especially when I have a little alcohol in my system. It’s easier to let go and not care what anyone thinks. Although, I shouldn’t care, I have been dancing my whole life, a little bit of ballet and plenty of RnB. I don’t go all out like Lola and Brit, unless I have a little something to push me, and that’s where my favourite drink, vodka, comes in.

  Lola slams her shot glass down on the table, and looks up at us. "Come on, girls, let’s show these peeps how we do it."

  We make our way to the middle of the dance floor as Ke$ha’s new song “Timber” comes on. Once I hear music, I love how my body just takes over, as it knows what it wants to do.

  While the girls and I are on the dance floor shaking our hips and having a good time, one of Lola's guy friends comes over and offers to buy us some drinks.

  We have been dancing for what seems like ages and the buzz of the alcohol is starting to wear off. We head to the bar and have some shots of tequila with red bull and vodka chasers. Lola’s friend, Blake, starts up a conversation with us and orders more shots. By this time, I can feel a major buzz and I’m well on my way to being drunk. I don’t like going overboard because I can never remember anything the next day and that is not something I like.

  I’m standing here swaying my hips to the music, watching everyone dance, while the girls are chatting away to the guys. I turn back to tell them I’m going to go back to the dance floor when one of Blake’s friends looks at me and smiles. Apparently, I haven’t been paying much attention during the introductions because I’ve never seen him before. I’m standing staring at this man and my whole body freezes. I don’t even notice e
veryone standing near me. I can just feel his eyes devouring me. He is gorgeous, tanned, and has tattoos up both his arms and a name or saying across his neck. He’s maybe six-feet-tall, with brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. His light blue button-up shirt, rolled up to reveal those tattoos and very muscly arms, looks great with his black slacks. He is by far one of the most stunning men I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol, but WOW! I stand there staring at him like an idiot, daydreaming, and I don’t realise he is walking over to me.

  "Hey, the name’s Josh." He puts his hand out for me to shake. I take his hand and reply, “Hi, I’m Sasha." He smiles and offers to buy me a drink.

  I turn and look back at the girls and Lola has that ‘Oh, my God, he is gorgeous’ look on her face. I just smile and turn back around and tell him what I want to drink. He goes up and orders it, and is back within seconds.

  We sit down and small talk as much as we can over the loud music. He is sitting so close I can smell his cologne. God, he smells good. I’m in my own little world when Lola and Brit come over and snap me out of it to ask me to dance. Josh looks up at the girls and I’m expecting him to check them out as they are gorgeous, but he looks straight at me and asks, "Would you like to dance with me?"

  I nod my head. How can I say no? I want to see if he could move as good as he looked. We all head on to the dance floor and “Low” by Flo Rida comes on. I start shaking my hips and dancing around him. He grabs hold of my waist and pulls me into him. And, oh boy, can he dance. We dance for a few more songs before we all head back to the bar and grab a few more drinks.

  *****

  Shit! Shit! Shit! My head is thumping. I turn over to get up and out of bed to go get water and Advil, but smack into a hard body in my bed.