Sasha's Dilemma (The Dilemma Series) Read online

  I guess I’m lost in thought because I’m surprised when I feel a set of arms wrap around me. He spins me around and we start kissing again. Unlike the romantic kisses on the beach, this one is full of passion. This one is definitely a panty-dropping kiss, and I’m getting so turned on that I start climbing his body. He grabs my legs and I wrap them around him. That’s when I know he is having the same reaction as me; it’s very evident in his pants and it’s poking me in all the right places.

  We break away and I see his face slowly change from desperate to regret. He gently drops my legs, and I slide down his body, still feeling his massive erection. I look up and give him a questioning look.

  “I don’t want you to regret anything. And I want you to be with me, and only me. I don’t play second fiddle to anyone, Sash, even if that means I have to have ten cold showers a day.”

  I don’t know how he would know if I’ve done anything with Dylan, but I understand what he is saying. Being with two men doesn’t make me happy; it makes me nervous, apologetic and it makes me have regrets; they are both wonderful men. I think he sees my inner dilemma when I look up at him.

  I see a brief smile, but then it fades as fast as it came.

  “I mean, if you want me, Sash, you have to be with only me. I don’t share things that are mine. You are not a one-night stand. I have very strong feelings for you. I know if I go where I want to go with you, and then saw you with anyone else, I would end up in jail.”

  Wow, I did not see that coming, and I’m even more shocked as he continues.

  “I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on that first night in the club. I knew I had to have you. I know I messed up at the drags. Then I saw you talking to Dylan, and I could tell you liked him by the look in your eyes. I realised if I still had a chance, then I better take it soon; otherwise, I would never get to.”

  I just stand shocked, because he is player, right? I just don’t know if I can go there with him. He is by far the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen, and he makes my body have crazy and wonderful feelings, but I don’t know if that’s enough. He has shown me a completely different side to him tonight and it’s beautiful, but I can’t have that kind of relationship. I can’t let myself get too close.

  “Look, Josh, I’m not sure I’m ready for commitment like that. I like you a lot, but I don’t think we want the same things.”

  “I’m not asking you to marry me, Sash. I’m just asking for a shot to show you I’m not who you think I am.”

  He says all the right words, but does he really mean them?

  “Okay, well, would you mind taking me home?”

  “You’re not running again, are you, Sash?”

  “No, Josh, I just need to have time to think. I’ve never wanted anything like this. I try my best to stay away from it,” and being around you only makes me want to rip my clothes off and let you have your way with me, I finish silently.

  “Okay, I can give you that,” he says, and I can see his disappointment.

  He drops me off at my apartment and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

  “I’ll wait, Sash, because you’re the kind of girl a guy waits for. Just don’t leave me hanging, please.”

  I just nod my head, the ability to speak as abandoned me.

  “Goodnight, beautiful, and thanks for coming tonight.” And with that, he’s gone.

  Chapter 10

  I wake up the next morning feeling very confused. I have two gorgeous guys who I really like, and don’t know what to do. One of the guys wants more than sex from me, and the other, I’m not sure where we stand.

  I don’t want to talk to Lola about this. I know she will just blow Josh off because she thinks he isn’t good enough for me. So my best option is our best friend. I give Brit a call to ask her to come over and she is at my house within half an hour.

  “So spill, tell me everything,” she demands.

  For the next twenty minutes, she patiently listens to my drama about both guys.

  “Well, you are sure in a pickle, darling.”

  “I know, Brit. I just don’t know what to do.”

  “Well, I’m not going to tell you who to pick, Sash. You have to decide that yourself.”

  “I know. It’s just so complicated!”

  “Well, it really isn’t if you stop thinking with your head and start thinking with your heart,” she tells me vaguely.

  What the hell does that mean?

  “Okay, girl, we are going to do something else today to take your mind off these guys. Then, hopefully, it will make the decision easier,” she says, pulling me up and dragging me out the door with her. Luckily, my bag is right next to the door, so I quickly snatch it up as we pass by.

  We head to the beach for some fish and chips and relaxation, before hitting the city for some retail therapy. I notice Koby before Brit does, and I hope he doesn’t spot us. He’ll ruin our day and it’s been so great so far. I quickly pull Brit inside the store a bit further, hoping to avoid him.

  But luck is not on my side. I watch Koby walk in a few moments later. Brit follows my eyes and spots him too. She grabs hold of my hand and squeezes it tightly.

  “Hi, girls,” he greets us immediately. “Brit can we talk, please?”

  “No, Koby, I’m spending the day with Sash, and I told you to not contact me anymore.” She looks upset and I wonder what is really going on with Koby to make her feel so nervous. She is usually such a strong-willed girl.

  “I know, Brit, but I still love you. We used to have something really special. Don’t you want that back?”

  “No, I’ve moved on and I’m over you, so please, leave me alone.” I can tell she’s scared by the death grip she has on my hand, but her voice gives nothing away.

  He grabs hold of her arm as she goes to walk off. “Please, Brit,” he pleads while still holding her arm.

  “Let me go,” she tells Koby, her voice rising. He still hasn’t released her and people are starting to stare at us. Though by the looks of Koby, he doesn’t really care.

  “Not until you talk to me. I want another chance,” he repeats himself belligerently.

  “How many times do I have to tell you? I have moved on and I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, so LET GO!”

  “You are mine, Brit, and your new fuck better recognise that, or there will be trouble,” he says through clenched teeth, and I can tell he’s getting really angry.

  I see this is upsetting her, so I decide to interfere. “That’s enough, Koby. Let her go before I call the cops on you,” I threaten.

  He turns and gives me the most evil look I have ever seen. I have known Koby for a long time, and I have never seen this look on his face before. It shakes me to the core. He looks back at Brit one more time before he releases her and walks out of the store. She looks at me and I can see she is about to break down. I place the items we had been planning to buy back on the shelf and grab her hand. It’s time to head home.

  The whole way home, she doesn’t utter a word. I grab my phone and send Adam and Lola a text message to tell them to meet us at home. I’m making her a cup of tea when the door flies open. “Where is she?” are the first words from Adam’s mouth. I point to the living room and he takes off. Lola arrives right after and we head into the living room together.

  Adam has Brit cuddled in his arms and he’s stroking her hair. “Tell me what happened, Sash,” he demands, never taking his eyes off Brit.

  “We ran into Koby. He said some mean things to Brit. I think she needs to go to the cops. I don’t think he is going to stop. He grabbed her forcefully by the arm and didn’t let go until I threated to call the cops on him.”

  “I’ll kick his ass, I swear. He better hope I don’t run into him in a dark alley, that scumbag,” Lola says fiercely.

  Adam is still trying to soothe Brit, and I can see how much they love each other. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. I fill them in on the details and I can see Adam getting angrier by the minute.
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br />   “I’ll kill him, Brit. If he touches or threatens you again, I swear I will.”

  Brit looks up at him. “Just stay away from him, Adam,” she pleads. “I’m gonna go to the cops. That was the last straw. I can’t deal with this anymore. I’m happy now, and he keeps on finding ways to bring me down.”

  Adam leans in and kisses her on the lips, and I can instantly see her relax. I’m so happy she has him. They balance each other out. Lola walks up to Brit and pushes Adam out of the way to give Brit a big hug. I join in.

  “If you weren’t my sisters, I would think one of you were trying to cop a feel,” Lola says, and with that, we all burst out laughing.

  Not long after, Adam takes Brit home to have time alone together. After today, I recognise my problems are nothing compared to Brit’s. I just need to choose, and then everything shall work itself out… I hope.

  “Sash, what’s your plans for tonight?” Lola comes up and asks me.

  “Nothing much. I was going to just chill on the couch and watch a movie.”

  “Oh no, you’re not. Blake has invited us over to his house for a dinner. Brit was meant to come as well, but I think she and Adam will be staying at home tonight getting dirty in the sack,” she says and starts laughing at herself.

  “Fine. When do we have to be there? I’ll go, but I’m not staying all night. I have to work at the hospital in the morning.” I glare at her because I know it’s her plan to try to keep me there all night.

  “We can just go there for dinner and a few drinks and then head home. Or you can head home and I’ll stay at Blake’s,” she assures me.

  It doesn’t hit me until I’m dressed and about to walk out the door. Shit, Josh will probably be there, and I still haven’t given him an answer about us. I literally stop mid-stride when I realise he will probably be there.

  We walk up to Blake’s apartment and as I go to knock, the door flies open. Blake grabs Lola, picks her up in a bear hug, and then releases her just far enough to press his lips to hers.

  “Hey, Blake,” I say in an attempt to break these two apart so I can get inside the apartment.

  “Hey, Sash,” he says, just noticing my existence. He leans down, kisses me on the cheek, and invites us in. Thankfully, it’s not as packed as last time. I’m not in the mood to party tonight. I just want to relax.

  Most of the people present tonight are Aaron’s co-workers. He takes us around, making introductions, and I spot a very familiar face in the kitchen. The butterflies are going insane as I make my way over to Josh. When he sees me, he gets his trademark smirk on his face.

  “Hey, beautiful, missed you,” he whispers quietly as he pulls me in for a hug. That delicious leather smell teases my senses when I reach up to kiss his cheek. He releases me and offers to make me a drink. He seems to be in a great mood tonight and is being very flirtatious. Acting as the unofficial bartender for this evening, he decides to teach me how to make the perfect cocktail. He stands behind me and places his hand on my hip, whispering what I need to do in my ear. Every time he speaks, I get shivers all the way down my body.

  I feel him tense behind me. I look up to see what has happened and I meet with a pair of green eyes staring back at me. Dylan looks between Josh and me as he slowly makes his way over. I nervously greet him and explain Josh is teaching me to make cocktails.

  I’ve noticed Josh’s hand hasn’t left my hip, and he hasn’t said a word to Dylan either. Dylan stares at Josh’s possessive hold on me. I can see his confusion morphing into anger. Without meeting my eyes again, he excuses himself to say hi to everyone else. I turn around to Josh. He hasn’t moved since Dylan walked over; he is lost in thought.

  “You like him a lot, don’t you, Sash?” he asks quietly, his eyes locked on mine. I don’t want to hurt him, but I won’t lie to him, so I just nod my head. I don’t trust the words that might come out of my mouth.

  “But you like me as well?” It was more lie a statement rather than a question, but I nod my head in agreement anyway.

  “Oh, shit,” he mutters under his breath, and then walks away.

  I need to find Lola to get away from the confrontation that is bound to happen. I find her flirting with one of Blake’s friends. I glance across the room to locate Blake. This is their normal pattern; she flirts and he stands across the room shooting death stares at the back of the guy’s head. But when I finally spot him, he isn’t paying attention to Lola at all. He is absorbed in conversation with a very beautiful honey-blonde girl. He looks happy as they smile and laugh at each other. I turn back to Lola and see she has spotted Blake as well. Her intent is clear as she slowly begins making her way over to them. I’m able to stop her just in time.

  “Come on, Lola, let’s go and sit down. Dinner will be ready soon.” She looks at me, and then back up at Blake. Her indecision is clear, but she finally agrees and I lead her over to the table.

  Dinner is soon served and all the guests are now seated. I’m in the middle with Lola next to me and Blake next to her. Josh is sitting across from me and Dylan is next to Blake. The atmosphere at the table is tense, though the food is delicious. I’m trying to concentrate on having a conversation with Lola and Blake, but I feel his eyes on me.

  I try not to acknowledge Josh’s stare piercing into me, but it just becomes too much. I decide to excuse myself and make my way to the bathroom to hide and collect myself. I’m just about to shut the door when it gets ripped open. Josh is standing there. He looks angry as he stares intently at my lips. He takes one long stride, pushes me up against the wall, and takes my breath away with his kiss.

  Hazily, I hear the door shut, but I’m distracted as Josh’s hand runs down my side, past my breast, and onto my stomach. My breath catches as his hand travels even further and he grabs my ass, lifting me up so my legs wrap around him. He gives my ass a squeeze, props me more firmly against the wall, and starts to crawl his hand up my dress to reach my breast, playing and pulling my nipple.

  I can’t help how he makes me feel, intense passion, excitement, and I start grinding against him, craving attention down below. He gets what I’m trying to do and works to accommodate me. He pulls my dress down so my breasts pop free and then starts sucking my nipple while his hand slides between our bodies, finding my hotspot and rubbing me through my black lacy thong. I hear myself whimpering, but inside I’m screaming more. More, I must have said it aloud without noticing because he chuckles against my breasts and moves me to sit on the counter bench. His eyes are intense as he stares down at me while he removes my underwear. I know he can clearly see that I’m wet and waiting for him.

  “So fucking beautiful, Sash,” he growls against my lips as he leans in and kisses me again. Trailing kisses down my neck, he slowly makes his way back to my nipples. I feel his fingers slowly creep up my inner thigh and I freeze with anticipation. Once he is at my entrance, I feel him slide one finger in. My breath catches as he starts pumping, and then inserts two fingers.

  “Breathe, beautiful.”

  I didn’t notice I was holding my breath until he said something. He deliberately pulls his fingers out and gives me his panty-dropping smirk, before he drops down to his knees. His tongue starts running up and down my inner thigh, every time getting closer to where I need him most. My breath hitches as he continues my torture, until I decide I’ve had enough.

  I grab his beautiful brown hair and pull him to where I’m craving him the most. I hear him chuckle, but he doesn’t disappoint. Lavishing beautiful painful kisses on my clit, he starts an excruciating rhythm. I struggle to hold back a scream as he methodically adds a finger. I’m ready to convulse on the spot.

  He is leisurely kissing and licking my clit. I whimper as I feel him remove his finger, but he quickly replaces it with his tongue. He makes sweeping passes to my clit, and then back to my entrance. It’s an unhurried process and I’m ready to scream. I can’t take anymore. I need him to go faster. Instinctively, I grab hold of his hair and start navigating. He indulges me, and within
minutes, I’m exploding and shaking all around him. He stands and smirks at me. Just the sight of him makes me need more.

  “Drop your pants, Josh,” I demand.

  He does as I ask, but continues to take the lead. He strips off his shirt so I can see his perfect body in all its glory. Just looking at the V at the bottom of his stomach makes me instantly wet again. He pulls a condom out of his pocket, slides it on, and wow, I’m wondering how that is gonna fit in me. He is huge. I’ve never been with someone so well-endowed before.

  He sees me staring, and tries to reassure me. “I’ll try to go slow, Sash, but can’t make any promises. I’ve wanted you for too long, and now that I have you, I don’t think I’m gonna last long.” He grabs me by my ass, lifting me again, and I can feel him at my entrance. Slowly, I lower myself on him. He feels wonderful. I find my rhythm and start slamming up and down on him. I can’t get enough. He is all man and he sure knows what he is doing.

  I feel another orgasm building and don’t even realise that I let out a little scream until he slams his mouth back on mine. I taste myself on him, but mostly all I can taste is the intoxicating taste that is Josh. We finish together in what feels like an explosion. With our foreheads touching, we stand breathing heavy. He is still buried deep inside me. I feel a jerk and note he is getting hard again. Now, it’s my turn to smirk up at him.

  “Ready for round two?” he asks with a passionate kiss.

  Chapter 11

  We’re both startled by a knock at the door.

  “Hey, Sash, you in there?” I instantly tense up; it’s Dylan.

  Josh answers for me. “No, just me. I think I saw her go out to the balcony though.” Josh looks back at me, but I can’t read the expression on his face.

  “Thanks, man,” Dylan replies, and we hear him leave. I slowly let my legs drop. Josh slides out of me, and I start fixing up my clothes. Josh pulls me around and I see he has a washcloth in his hand. He gets down on one knee and wipes my thighs as well as my sex. Once I’m cleaned, he places a gentle kiss to my sex and stands up. I’m completely shocked. I’ve never had anyone do that for me before.