Sasha's Dilemma (The Dilemma Series) Read online

  I snap out of my head and look around for my underwear. I can’t find them anywhere. Josh is heading for the door and I spot them in his pocket. I reach out to grab them, but he pulls back.

  “Na, beautiful, they’re mine,” he says.

  What is he talking about? “Josh, I need my underwear. Please give them back.”

  “No, beautiful, I need something of you, and if this is all I can get for the meantime, this is what I’m keeping. You better go find Dylan before he sends a search party.”

  I’m not sure if he is angry or not, so I decide to ignore him. I slip out of the bathroom and go in search for everyone. I spot Dylan straightaway, and he waves me over.

  “So, Sasha, would you like to come to my house for dinner tomorrow night after work?” he asks me immediately.

  I hear a cough behind me and turn around to see Josh standing there glaring at us.

  I turn back to Dylan and explain to him that I have to find Lola. I quickly excuse myself. As I’m walking to the kitchen, Blake asks everyone to have a seat on the balcony so we can have dessert. I take a seat and wait for everyone to come out. Josh pulls out the chair next to me, but he’s talking to a guy and doesn’t acknowledge me. Then I hear the chair scrape on the other side of me and I notice it’s Dylan. Oh, God, why do I do this to myself?

  Dylan starts a polite conversation about work and I try to pay attention, but I feel a hand from the other side of me running up and down my thigh. Remembering I don’t have any underwear on, I try to push Josh’s hand away, but he just holds onto my thigh and doesn’t move. I don’t want to make a scene, so I stop struggling, thankful that the table covers my lap. His hand slowly makes its way up to my entrance and starts circling. I have a quick intake of breath, and glance over to find he is smiling. He is obviously enjoying my discomfort.

  “Hey, you all right, Sasha?” Dylan asks me, looking concerned. I just nod my head and try to listen to the conversations around me.

  Josh starts to insert his finger. I reach down once more to try to take his hand away. This just makes him smirk and start moving in and out faster. He slides his fingers out of me and starts playing with my clit. I’m breathing heavily at this point, and about to lose my mind.

  Lola gives me a questioning look. I just shrug my shoulders, and try to pretend nothing is going on, but she see through me. She glances between Josh and me like she might know what he is doing. I have to stop this now. I pull my chair out and Josh is forced to remove his hand. I quickly walk over to Lola and Blake to make an excuse and say my goodbyes.

  “Come on, Sash, you can’t go yet. We’re just about to have some drinks,” Blake says to me.

  “Thanks, Blake, but I’m tired and got to work tomorrow, so I’m going to turn in. Thanks for a lovely meal though.” I kiss him and Lola, and head out the door. I’m almost at my car when Dylan grabs me by the arm, pulling me to a stop.

  “Hey, you didn’t answer me. Are you free tomorrow night for dinner?”

  “Yeah, sure, text me your address and I’ll meet you at yours.” I give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him I’ll see him tomorrow. I look up towards the balcony and I see Josh watching me. My feelings are conflicted. My head is everywhere; I don’t even remember the drive home.

  My mind won’t stop racing one-hundred miles an hour and I can’t sleep, so I’m in my pyjamas watching a movie when there is a knock at the door. Lola probably forgot her key. I get up to answer it and I’m surprised to find Josh standing there looking gorgeous as ever. His mouth drops open and I remember I’m only wearing a t-shirt with undies underneath. The shirt is quite fitting and shows the shape of my body and you can see my ass in the undies I’m wearing. Just great.

  “Well, if you answer the door wearing this every time, I might pop around more often.”

  “I didn’t know it was you. I thought it would be Lola.”

  “Oh, no, she and Blake retired to his bedroom about an hour ago. I don’t think they’re going to come out of there any time soon.”

  “Why are you here?” I ask in confusion.

  “Well, beautiful, I wanted to finish what I started,” he says still smirking and eyeing me up and down.

  “I’m not one of your booty calls, Josh,” I say with my hand on my hip.

  “Oh, don’t I know it,” he mutters.

  “What’s that meant to mean?”

  “Nothing, may I come in?”

  “I’m about to go to bed, Josh. I’m not in the mood for talking,” especially since I know you saw my conversation with Dylan, I add silently.

  “Oh, that’s fine. I’m not in the mood for talking either.”

  With that, he walks in, picks me up, and shuts the front door. He slams his lips down on mine and walks to my room. I know I should be stopping this, but the things he makes me feel are just so incredible. I never want them to stop, plus the sex is the best I’ve ever had.

  The sex is different from last time. He takes him time like it’s the last time he will see me naked. He kisses and touches every part of my body and it’s exhilarating. He makes me feel so incredibly beautiful.

  After round two, I’m exhausted and just want to go to bed. I’m not sure if I should kick him out or let him stay. I know he will want to talk eventually, and I’m so not in the mood for it. I roll off him and onto the bed. He pulls me in so our bodies are flush together. We fit so perfectly. He starts running his hands up and down my arms and soon I’m drifting into sleep.

  Just before I fall into oblivion, I hear him whisper against my hair, “Don’t hurt me, Sash. I think I’m falling for you.”

  I wake to Josh coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He sees me and smirks, and I have to check for drool.

  “I made you breakfast and a coffee. I’ve put it next you.”

  I look over and there is a bagel and strawberries. I grab a strawberry and put it in my mouth. When I look back at Josh, he has dropped his towel and is now walking back to the bed, fully naked and glorious. He makes me start breathing heavy just by looking at him. He crawls up my body on the bed and starts to kiss me. I just melt into him as he makes his way down my neck. I turn my head to give him better access and I see the alarm clock. I jump, remembering I need to get ready for work or I’m going to be late.

  “I have to get ready for work,” I tell him in a panic, but he just ignores me and continues kissing me.

  “Don’t go,” he murmurs into my neck. I push him off me and jump out of bed.

  “I have to go. I need all the hours I can get for prac for my course,” I try to explain to him. I head into the bathroom and jump into the shower. The door creaks open and he pulls the curtain back and sits on the toilet seat.

  “So, you want to go out for dinner tonight?” he asks.

  I stare at him and then pull back the curtain.

  “I can’t. Don’t know what time I finish,” I tell him because I don’t want to tell him I already have plans with Dylan; although, I’m thinking I might just break things off with him. I don’t really know what is going on with either of them, so I figure I’ll just hang with the one that makes me scream so hard my throat gets sore. That man is definitely Josh. He might be an ass, but he seems to be an all right guy when he hasn’t got women hanging off of him.

  “Sash, would you give us a shot to see if this thing between us could work? Please, I’m really trying here.”

  I pause before answering him. I’m not sure what exactly to say. I want a relationship. I like the constant of someone being there, but I still don’t want to fall in love. Maybe lust, but never love.

  “Yes, I will, but if you think I will be okay with you touching or seeing other women, and then coming to me for a booty call, you are out of your mind.”

  The curtain suddenly gets pulled back and I scream in shock. He jumps in and lifts me up against the wall, kissing me.

  “I’ve told you before, woman. I only have eyes for you. But please, let me know when I’m being a dick because
I’m sure to fuck this up. Just try to be patient with me, please.”

  I just nod against him.

  I’m halfway through my shift when I see Dylan. He calls me over and asks if we’re still on for tonight.

  “Look, Dylan, you’re a great guy, but I’m kind of seeing someone else and I want to see were that goes. So I’m going to have to decline.” I look up at him after I’ve said what I needed to say. I don’t feel guilty, just sorry because he would be a great man for any woman, but he just doesn’t give me those crazy butterflies in my stomach like I get with Josh.

  “Okay, Sasha, thanks for being honest. But if it doesn’t work out, please give me a call,” he says this with understanding but also hurt.

  I nod my head and walk away because I’m not sure what else to say to him.

  “Oh, and, Sasha, Josh better treat you right or I’ll kick his ass.”

  I’m standing there shocked, with my mouth hanging open. How the hell did he know it was Josh? I stare after him as he walks away. It takes me a couple minutes to remember I actually have work to do. I jump back into work and hope it won’t be in close contact with Dylan.

  I don’t want to regret my decision of giving it a try with Josh. I chose him even though I know Dylan wouldn’t hurt me. Can I be sure that Josh wouldn’t hurt me? I think I know the answer and that is what scares me the most.

  Chapter 12

  It’s been two glorious months so far with Josh and he has been great. Although we haven’t gone out much, we are usually at each other’s place for the night. We’ve hardly spent a night apart, and I’m loving it.

  My only concern is I noticed he takes a lot of medication, and some days, he is really sick. He usually ignores my questions and changes the topic when I ask. I try not to worry too much.

  My butterflies are still there and go crazy every time he touches me. Even the simplest gesture turns me into a puddle of mud. And the sex is beyond anything I’ve ever had. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before and I’m afraid I’m falling for him.

  The only downfall is Lola. She still doesn’t approve of him and refuses to give me a solid reason as of why. I’m sure I’ll get it out of her sooner rather than later. It bothers me though. I’ve mentioned it to Brit, but she just brushes it off as Lola being a protective sister. But I know my sister, and I know it’s not that. I just can’t work it out as of yet. It’s strange because Josh seems to only want to stay at my apartment when Lola is out, so there has to be more than what they’re telling me.

  “Hey, babe, you almost ready?” Josh says as he pokes his head in to see me. I watch his face as he starts eyeing me up and down. I have on a hot red dress that shows off my breasts. It is so short that if I bend too far over, you might see my ass. My black heels finish off the look. I’ve curled my sandy-blonde hair and kept my makeup pretty simple with bronzer, eyeliner, and mascara. Josh always says he loves how I don’t cake so much on my face. He tells me I’m a goddess and shouldn’t hide it.

  “You so can’t go in that. I won’t be able to keep my hands off you. Plus, everyone will be checking you out, and you know how jealous I get. Shall I remind you of the first time we went out as a couple?” he says with a smirk.

  I’ll never forget it. I went out with Lola and Brit for a girls’ night out because Brit was having a hard time with her ex again. While I was dancing, some guy came up behind me and started dancing against my back, placing his hands on my hips. I went to turn around to tell him to let go, but he was suddenly shoved off me and getting smacked in the face. I didn’t know it was Josh at first. After the bouncer took the other guy out of the club, Josh grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me out to his car. I was screaming at him to put me down the whole way, but he just kept walking. He placed me in the backseat, and then jumped in with me.

  “If I ever see someone touch you like that again, no bouncer will hold me back. You got me, beautiful?” he told me fiercely.

  I just looked at him as if he lost his mind, and the next thing I knew, we were steaming up the windows. Needless to say, we don’t go out much now unless we’re together. It’s not that he doesn’t trust me. He just can’t stand how other guys stare at me. I don’t notice it, but he says we can’t even walk into a shop without me getting checked out. I just laugh at him.

  We head over to Brit’s and Adam’s house for her birthday party. Adam spoils her rotten; I think they would be lost without each other. Even though it took them awhile to get together in the first place, they were made for each other. I can see it just by the way they look at each other.

  Josh hasn’t taken his hand off my thigh the whole car drive. Little does he know, I’m not wearing anything underneath this dress. I figure it’s best to fill him in later; otherwise, we won’t make it. We pull up and there are so many cars here. I wasn’t expecting so many people, but Adam is well known in the social scene. His job is to book bands and gigs for nightclubs, mainly Blake’s, though a lot of other people want his services too. But his loyalties lie with Blake.

  I walk into their house and spot Brit almost immediately. She’s wearing a lilac purple dress and looks gorgeous. Adam is by her side, whispering in her ear. She spots us and waves us over.

  “Hey, birthday girl!”

  I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek. I give Adam one as well. The boys shake hands and start making small talk.

  “Josh, I’m stealing my girl,” Brit says to Josh. He has just enough time to lean in and kiss me on the cheek before I’m pulled away by Brit.

  We walk into the lounge room and I spot Lola talking to Blake. Brit drags me over there, barely gives me time to say hello, and then she pulls Lola away as well. We have no choice but to follow her to her bedroom. She tells us to take a seat, and then she starts pacing.

  “Brit, what’s wrong? Why are you pacing?” Lola asks, sounding worried.

  “Nothing is wrong. Actually, everything is perfect, and that’s what I’m afraid of.”

  Lola and I look at each other with surprise. We have no idea what she is talking about. Then she blurts out something we definitely weren’t expecting.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Holy shit is the only thing that comes to mind. Lola and I just sit there with our mouths hanging open, but no words coming out.

  “I haven’t told Adam yet, but I’ve been to the doctor and everything is positive. I just don’t know when to tell him,” Brit says.

  “Well, I think sooner rather than later, don’t you reckon?” I say to her.

  “I know, but it’s all been so good lately, and I know Adam doesn’t want kids until later on down the track. He says he is not ready. What am I meant to do if he doesn’t want the baby? I can’t have an abortion.” She is clearly stressing about this.

  “How about you don’t think negatively until you actually talk to him about it. He does love you Brit, and I’m sure whatever you decide, he will love you all the same,” I tell her.

  “That’s the thing, I’ve decided I’m keeping the baby.”

  There’s a knock on the door and Adam pokes his head in. “You okay, honey?”

  She nods her head in response, but doesn’t say anything. He asks if we can all come into the lounge room for an announcement. As soon as I enter the room, Josh finds me and wraps his arms around my waist. I melt into him, glad I don’t have any of these dramas going on in my life. Adam clears his throat to get everyone’s attention.

  “Thank you all for coming to spend this afternoon with me and my girl, but I would like to make an announcement of my own.” He turns to Brit. “I’ve loved you since I met you, and I would be the happiest man on this Earth if you would agree to spend the rest of your life with me.”

  Adam drops to one knee and everyone has their hands at their mouths.

  “Will you, Brittany Jane Jade, agree to marry me?”

  “Of course I will!” Brit says and drops to her knees and starts kissing him.

  It turns out to be a beautiful night. Jos
h hasn’t let me go all night. His hand is always on the small of my back or holding my hand. Lola comes up to tell us she is going, and gives me a kiss on the cheek and just waves at Josh. Blake follows close behind her and waves goodbye to us as well. Josh and I head out to the deck area to get a drink. While we’re waiting, I decide to share my little secret with him.

  “I have no underwear on,” I whisper in his ear. He turns around and raises his eyebrows at me like I’m joking. I turn around in a circle to prove my point, just before the bartender brings us our drinks. Josh slams them both down and drags me out the door, yelling over his shoulder bye to Adam and Brit. I try to wave bye as we head out.

  We get in the car and he is speeding the whole way home. We pull up to his garage and he rushes around to open my door. I start to get out, but I must not be moving fast enough for him because he lifts me up and carries me to the bonnet of his car. His hand snakes up my dress as he kisses me urgently.

  “Fuck, beautiful, why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he says in a husky voice.

  “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “Well, you certainly did. Adam’s gonna think I’m a crazy man,” he says while working his hands up my dress and I start panting. He knows how crazy he makes me with the things he can do with his hands, mouth, and body. He drives me bloody crazy. He pushes me back so I’m lying on the hood of his car. His lips travel up my thighs in slow torturous kisses up to my sex.

  He knows how impatient I get. Usually, I can’t stop myself from grabbing his hair and making him do what I want. But apparently tonight, he wants to torture me because he tells me, “Place your hands above your head. If you touch my hair, I will stop.”

  I do as he says, and he begins my torture again. I start squirming and pushing my bottom half up so he will go faster, but he just chuckles, grabs my hips, and pins them down. He starts with small kisses over my clit, and then I feel the warmth of his tongue and instantly want more. I go to move my hands and he stops.